Health Archives - Women Sublime - Healing and Inspiration

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changes in my life, gift, Grief Loss and Bereavement, Health, Online Communities, presence, Support Groups, warm relationship

English: Trail around Rutland Water . (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The gift of PRESENCE is a very powerful one. We tend to take things for granted by brushing aside things it can do. We can make or break a relationship with our presence or even absence.

Presence is being involved in someone’s life. It is something we choose to do. Circumstances happen but still, given a choice, stay somewhere we need to be. Loss, pain and illnesses are occurrences where we need people around us. Someone to be there even when no words are needed.

When we have no choice but to be absent, with technology today, we can extend our love and support through other things. A text, a call, a note or even a post on our loved ones’ Facebook wall would make all the difference. I have been there. When I made major changes in my life and not everyone was for it, I felt lost and alone. Instead of people telling me I did the right thing for choosing to attend to my son’s needs for my career, I was mocked. There were disapproving head shakes and was even told “I was stupid!” to my face. Where was the support there? I just kept quiet but felt really bad. The people I thought were my friends for 17 years suddenly I realized were just colleagues. We went to each others houses, attended family gatherings and even respect to each other’s loved ones who passed away. I felt that. Suddenly the deep warm relationship was a shallow cold one.

When I was sick and needed a major surgery, others told me I was over-reacting and things would be alright. Over-reacting? Since when is a major-exploratory surgery where they literally open you up and clip your skin on to the table over-acting? I felt resentment and even anger. I felt slowly withdrawing and becoming alone. I counted the people who supported me. However, I also counted those who forgot about me. Those who said and even promised that they would be there for me and when the time came I texted I’m going to have major surgery, only text I received was “Good luck!” Not the reply I wanted to read.

I was touched, however by one of my closest friends who is very far away. Even though she was in another country, I was amazed she managed to send something for me. She proved she was a great friend despite our distance and even when I didn’t ask for assistance she sent.

I discovered now who among my friends are real gems and the faux ones. What is the big deal? Someone would ask. The big deal is, when your thoughts are dark and you are stepping on the line between living and dying, it is a big deal.

So when something came up and I needed to go for injection treatments to keep my condition controlled, I just kept things to myself. Only my loved ones knew. Although, I shared updates from time to time on Facebook, I didn’t elaborate anymore. I just sought solace from inspiration and healing pages. They kept me going and positive.

I can say the very presence of anyone would give someone joy. JUST BEING THERE in their momentous occasion or difficult situation would make them feel important too. The mere fact that we are visible in someone else’s life would be very helpful for them. That is its essence… to make the person feel loved and important. This is needed specially for the lonely who feels alone and unforgiving of themselves.

Positive reinforcements are important too. Let us remember that this gesture is so compelling that’s why we need to always give our best effort to be visible in our loved ones lives. Your mere presence may not be a major achievement for you but it’s a big deal. believe me. Let your presence be felt. No one needs to be dying or sick for people to be close and to feel others care. You are the light for other’s dim moments. Let your light shine. In the end, even though you do not have anything to give, your presence is your ultimate gift to someone in need. This is perhaps one of the loftiest gifts ever for the heart always remembers.